Year’s End Reflections 2016: Dealing With Criticism
Once I really begin taking a hard look at myself, I had to open myself up to criticism of those around me, which is something that is a little difficult for me because I tend to get defensive if I feel attacked.
But in 2016, because I really allowed myself to hear and more importantly, I allowed myself to feel the criticism from those who have my best interest at heart. Being defensive just gave me permission not to feel the emotions that criticism from certain people brought up.
Instead of being confrontational, I’ve been working on ways to help me better handle criticism. If you struggle with dealing with criticism try these things:
Try to remember why you love / like the person giving the feedback.
Often criticism can sting more than expected coming from a spouse, partner, friend, family member, or anyone you have close ties to. You can feel attacked and want to lash out. But if you remember that the person loves you and they have good intentions behind their critique.
It can be hard trying to remember that you’ll like a person when they’re criticizing you, but it what they’ll saying hold truth, your spirit will let you know that it out of love, the trick is being receptive to the love.
You don’t have to accept the criticism in part or whole.
There is nothing written that says that you have to accept criticism just because it come from someone inner circle. You don’t have to take the criticism to heart. Pull the useful parts from the critique, if any, and leave the rest or all of it. The parts that you decide to leave, don’t allow into your spirit.
Consider the critic and their mannerism.
First off, a stranger or someone you have a loose association with, their criticisms should carry very little weight. If the criticism is a valid one, consider the source, first; acknowledge it, if necessary or let it go and not allow it to enter my spirit.
If the criticism is coming from a someone that you love, admire or respect, you will automatically feel the weight of their words. If the person is brass, like a no-sugar-coating type of person, their delivery will be totally different from someone who’s empathetic and nurturing. Even if the criticisms are the same, it’s going to feeling different because of the person’s mannerism. While the criticism is about you, it is indirectly about them too.
Feel the criticism before you respond to it.
If you respond to a critique without allowing yourself to process it, all hell might break loose and you could ruin an important relationship.
Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions that come from the criticism; accept that you are having feelings. Emotions are good as long as you’re not letting your emotions control your actions.
Then try to process the emotions so that you can move past the emotional stage and get on the path of dealing with the critique.
Like with everything else, communication is key.
It is better to communicate that you’ve been hurt by something that was said to you then to internalize it and let it fester within your spirit.
You may be great at internalizing and compartmentalizing your feelings but in the end, it is going to cause resentment.
Vocalizing your emotions may be difficult, especially when you feel like you’ve been attacked, but it is vitally necessary for your mental and emotional health.
Open up and be honest about how you feel about what was said to/about you and yours.
Don’t forget your self-worth.
Even the most well-intended criticism can break your spirit. It is so important that you keep in mind who you are, what you bring to the table, and why you are on the journey that you’re on. You have a lot to offer. Whatever you do, please don’t others criticisms of your path deter you from your journey or determine your next move.
If you are on the right course for your life, stay the course, no matter what anyone says.
How do you deal with criticism?
May God be with you until we meet again.