Encouraging Myself So That I Can Encourage Others
National Novel Writing Month, as known as November, is days away and the self-doubt and fear is starting to creep up on me. Telling me things, that in the past would’ve made me come up with another excuse for why I’m not participating in NaNo. Self-doubt tells me things like my story isn’t good enough, or things like, since I didn’t flesh out your antagonist fully, that I’m going to fail. Fear is saying, that I mine as well not even start NaNo because I won’t stick with it, that I’ll never finish. Fear is a bitch, it likes to make me think that I’m going to look so silly sitting up here typing away at you keyboard like I have something to say that someone wants to read.
“Ha,” fear says to me.
“No one is going to want to read anything you write. So give up now and you can get back to dreaming and wishing that you could write that novel you wanted to write since your freshmen year of college. Writing is hard and the words won’t come to you. You have the hardest time getting the right words for a blog post, how in the world are you going to come up with 50,000 words in a month? Just give up now.”
To fear I say, “Get away from me fear, you no longer have any power or authority over here. You’ve controlled my life for far too long. I’m going to write this novel. I’m going to accomplish this task and if no one read it that’s fine. The person I’m doing this for is me. So fear, you can kiss my split and kick rocks.”
Damn right, I will not fear because there is someone in me that is greater than fear, greater than self-doubt, greater worry and any other weapon that forms against me. This story is from God, I do believe this. He wants it to be told and He wants to use me to tell it. So this year’s National Novel Writing Month is going to be different because I’m putting the story in His worthy hands, I’m praying that He allows the words to flow freely from me. I’m asking Him to help me to be showy and no telly, I asking Him to increase my vocabulary and I’m asking Him to help me meet the daily word count goal.
I’m good, this is the first NaNo that I really feel excited about. Not fake excited, like there’s a party that you don’t want to go to, but you have to act excited about going because your BFF is totally stoked about going. It’s real excitement. It’s the “I can’t wait for November to get here” type of excitement. And, I’m not going to let fear, self-doubt, procrastination, distractions, lack of self-confidence, negative self-talk, thoughts and negative words from others stop me from writing this novel.
When NaNoWriMo is over I want to look back at this post and proclaim that with the Lord’s help I am victorious, I’ve written a novel.
May God be with you until we meet again.