Little Nuggets: But For And

replacing but for andEarly this year I read somewhere that replacing “but” for “and”, will drastically change how you are perceived and how you perceive situations. So I consciously put the idea into practice.

For instance instead of saying, “I really need to write this blog post, but I don’t want to; I would say, I really need to write this blog post, and I don’t want to.

At first, I had to make a conscious effort to catch myself before I said “but.” As you can see from the example, the “but” makes a difference in the statement. “But” can sometimes have a negative connotation; it can sound excusatory; it seems so finite.  On the other hand, “and” feel more positive; it opens up the possibility of dialogue; it leaves room for you to find a solution to both parts of the sentence.

It has become a little easier to swap “and” for “but.” The concept has really opened me up to be more mindful in my communication with others. But it also makes me more mindful about the conversations I have with myself; I’m more sensitive about what I’m saying and how I’m saying it.

Whenever I find myself slipping into the “but” zone, I try to evaluate my word choice and try to decide whether or not difference words can have a greater impact on the conversation.

What are your thoughts on this? Comment

May God be with you until we meet again.

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